11 May 2005

Super Lady

When I was 4 years old I had super powers. If I was playing a game and losing, I would take a break and say, “Hold on. I need to put on my super powers.” I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pulled an imaginary mask over my head. It was over for all of my competitors from that moment forward. I won the game because of my super powers. I was able to free myself from my father’s playful wrestling tackles because of my super powers. I crossed the finish line faster than my sister because of my super powers. I could do all things with my super powers!

Now that I’m 25 and long over the phase of my super powers, I wish I had them again. When I am approaching a deadline, I could use my super powers to help me meet it on time. When I’m in a mode of self-deprecation, I could use my super powers to boost my sense of self again. When I’m terrified to communicate, I could use my super powers to say exactly what I am feeling. Overall, my super powers are needed daily.

Mom and Pops were talking about my super powers today on the way to the airport, and I was reminded of this wonderful gift I had as a child. Could I have them still now? Please! Super powers, where are you?


Mary said...

Love reading your ideas, Ciona. You are a poet and a scholar, my friend!
I've noticed lately that we humans tend to be in a constant state of wishing. My kids wish they were older; I wish I were a kid again and could view life through their un-cynical eyes. Sometimes, I want to be back in college where I could put my dirty dishes on a conveyer belt and someone else would wash them. And I could walk into a place where my food was cooked, the electric bill was paid, the phone bill, etc. But then I remember living that life and looking ahead to the day when I could I have an apartment and a kitchen and I could pay my own bills. I guess the annoying adage--The grass is always greener on the other side--is true, after all.
Maybe we've always had everything we need for happiness and productivity and fulfillment. We don't get more of the Holy Spirit's blessings as we age; we finally begin to understand that we already have it . . . and then we have to learn how big and complete the blessings are . . . and then we have to learn to get out of the way and rely on Him.
Anyway, you're wonderful, and I miss you so, so, so much! Thanks for many years of friendship.

Ciona said...

You're right, Mare! I'm definitely in "wish mode" right now. Hopefully it will be fleeting, and I'll just be content with exactly where I am. Your image of college when they cleaned your dishes, though, sounds so wonderful right now. Beth would appreciate that, too, as we tend to pile the dishes lately.

Anonymous said...

Such a simple thought, pregnant with meanings, filled with so many complexities and possibilities. "I wish..."

For the Christian, "we hope" carries the same ambiguities.

What if it is not so difficult at all? What if it is like Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz,and that which we seek, "we had it all the time!" If that were true, then our prayer would change and we would not wish for super-powers, but instead recognize that as Christians, we have them. Then we would hope, as mature Christians, that our will is aligned with God's so that we might "use those powers for good, and not evil."

The difficult part becomes then, finding a way to harness those powers and being able to summon them instantaneously when they are needed, just like you knew and did when you were a child.

And Jesus said before he departed,(and I paraphrase) "I will be with you always even unto the ends of the earth. I will go away but I will send to you a Comforter, the Holy Spirit!"

Perhpas we don't need super powers to make life perfect at all, just the power of the Holy Spirit to get through the difficult times, or around them or over them.

Thanks for reminding me! May you be blessed today as you have blessed me by making me know what I always knew about God and myself. Keep using your words! Powerful and revealing!